R. Eric Thomas advises retirees to cap financial support for unemployed adult children
A financial adviser suggests using a third-party professional to set spending limits when adult children rely on their parents' generosity.
By Samir Patterson ·
R. Eric Thomas, a financial adviser based in Philadelphia, told readers that parents should engage a professional to create a retirement budget that includes a specific line item for helping adult children. Thomas responded to a reader who identified as a 62-year-old woman with a 65-year-old husband. The couple’s youngest son has been unemployed since June 2026, and his wife is scheduled for a layoff at the end of October.
The reader described her husband as unable to say no to requests for money. She expressed concern that her husband was enabling their son while compromising the couple's future financial security. She asked how to convince her husband that a change in their support habits was necessary without causing resentment among their other children.
Thomas explained that the son was using his parents' generosity as a safety net. This dynamic protected him from having to make difficult choices or face the consequences of unemployment. The adviser noted that the son was inadvertently taking advantage of the couple's willingness to help.
In his column published on October 30, 2026, Thomas recommended bringing in a third party to facilitate the decision-making process. He advised the couple to work with a financial adviser to build a protective budget for their retirement. This budget would account for emergencies and personal goals while also reserving funds for their son.
The adviser suggested using this professional setting to have a serious conversation with the husband about the budget. Thomas emphasized that the discussion should use specific numbers to address fears. He stated that the husband needed to accept that he could not fix every problem for his child. However, Thomas noted that this acceptance was the husband's work to do, and the wife could not force it.
Thomas also addressed a second letter from a 68-year-old woman whose 73-year-old husband lives in a condo inherited from her parents. Her middle sister, who was appointed power of attorney more than 30 years ago, recently demanded that the couple pay rent. The woman has paid off the mortgage and spent over $7,000 on repairs.
Thomas said the sister may believe the condo should have been split among three siblings. He noted that the time to raise this issue was when the parents passed away or when their estates were settled. He doubted the sister had standing to take the matter to court but recommended the couple consult an estate attorney for a one-time review.
